Featured Photo credit: PublicDomainPictures.net


In last Wednesday’s post, we explained the five types of love languages; words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch.
The question everyone has been asking me is, ‘Pheyi, how can I know my primary love language?’ Ok, without much essay writing, here are three approaches to help you discover your own behaviour.


First, how do you typically express love and appreciate other people?
If you are always patting people on the back or giving them hugs, then your primary language may be physical touch. If you freely give encouraging words to others, then words of affirmation is likely your language. If you are a gift giver, then perhaps what you desire is receiving gifts. If you enjoy having lunch or taking a walk with a friend, then quality time is probably your love language. If you are always looking for ways to help people, then acts of service may well be your love language you wish to receive.


Second, what do you complain about?
In any human relationship, what is your most common complaint? If you often complain that people don’t help you, then acts of service is likely your language. If you say to a friend, “we don’t ever spend time together” then you are requesting quality time. If your friend goes on a business trip and you say, “you didn’t bring me anything?” you are revealing that receiving gifts is your primary love language. If you say, “I don’t think you would ever touch me if I didn’t initiate it,” you are saying that physical touch is your love language. If you complain, “I don’t ever do anything right, your complaint indicates that words of affirmation speak deeply to you. The complaint reveal what you most like to receive from other people.


Third, what do you request from other people most often?
If your friend is leaving on a business trip and you say, “be sure and bring me a surprise,” you are indicating that gifts are important to you. If you say, “could we take a walk together this evening?” you are revealing that quality time speaks deeply to you. If you often ask people to do things to help you, acts of service is likely your love language. When you ask, “did I do a good job? You are requesting words of affirmation.

Thanks for reading today’s post. Do join me next Wednesday on my next post on Singles’ corner. Remain blessed.


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Pheyi is a graduate of Accounting from Lagos state University; a fashionista; CEO, STYLESENSEAFRICA Fashion Academy; a motivational speaker and relationship/marriage blogger.
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